This blog post is to document life over past few months. I will omit the millions of conversations, prayers and the entire process, however wanted to share where we are at as a family for the girls years from now when they are in positions of change and seeking God’s direction. I began for various reasons a few months back contemplating stepping down from a management role and back to a Portfolio Manager requiring less travel, I could control my own book, in the end less consistent stress, etc. I really thought this would be where I was headed and while it was hard think about taking a step back from a perspective of perception and being viewed as not being able to do my current role it was worth it from a family perspective.
We spent lots of time in prayer, discussing what this would look like, and weighting options as I was preparing for internal conversations. Our prayers are always that God would always give us a peace about decisions and shut doors if that is not where he was guiding us in every decision we make. In this case God not only shut doors, he slammed them! I was not able to step down but was asked to step up as we were doing some reorganization. Effective July 1 I will have the entire state of Tennessee for portfolio management under my leadership. WOW! I know I have a lot of respect and others have significant confidence in my ability. I am learning to just say “thank you” and do the best I can rather than dispute the issues I may have or my own insecurities.
I often ask God why and his response seems so basic and simple in my heart, but hard to fully embrace when it is not where I thought I was headed. What rings in my heart is “Trust me. Let me use you. You are not perfect but I am. Work hard at all things.”. While I don’t know how or why God is using me in my career, I want to follow. Times when I wonder I get the encouragement I need. This week it was from a teammate who I hired several years ago who told me as I was sharing how this will test me, “you have taught me and focused me by your own actions how to have a healthy work life balance and manage a career with your family as your priority”. Maybe this is why I am here? It has nothing to do with the company but the teammates I can support, coach and add value to both from a career level and personally.
It will be a heck of a ride this next year and am praying God continues to bless us, lead us and always give us his peace in all things.
With this job change my work travel maybe a little more than before, although we are going to try to keep that as close as possible to what it has been. We truly believe that it is no coincidence that I received this opportunity and Maggie was accepted into the CCS PreK all about the same time.
I told someone this will continue to test my ability to keep my priorities and not allow them to get out of whack. It will be to balance my marriage, my daughters and my career beyond anything I have. It will require me to be efficient, focused on priorities and allow myself to coach my team at my highest level BUT finding what is necessary and what is not every second of every day. I am embracing this as I have every opportunity I have been given...do the best job I can as long as I am asked to do it and pray in all things Christ will be glorified.
The beginning of last year as I had to hire a new team in Nashville God really impressed one word to pray, which was “Favor”. I prayed God would give me favor in hiring a strong team and have continued to pray for his favor in all situations.
Does this mean we won’t have crazy days and nights? no way..right now we are juggling swim team every night of the week! ha!
Gracie and Maggie, my prayer is that in all things you work for the glory of God and the abilities he has given you. If you choose to be an artist, a mommy that works inside or outside the home, a doctor, or the many other talents that you can use for his kingdom. I pray that as you make decisions are guided by our Heavenly Father and that you have a peace that passes all understanding regardless of what others think. You were created for a purpose! These are not easy decisions and require prayer, pros and con lists (okay, that is the OCD banker inside of your Mommy and Daddy), and wise council. We will always be here to pray over these decisions, love you through tough days and celebrate with you as your biggest cheerleaders through all your accomplishments!
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